You know nothing irritates me more in this world then deadbeat parents. Parents who divorce and walk away like they never had kids. I don't care what their excuse is, unless the kids don't want to have anything to do with them. If that's the case there has to be a good reason. And the only reason I could think of for kids not wanting to have anything to do with their deadbeat dad or mom is if there was abuse of any kind involved. Other then that I can't think of any reason why your kids wouldn't want to stay close to you. You hear of people remarrying and the new spouse doesn't like the kids or they say the kids are the problem. Well, these kids have gone through a lot and they have to realize they are JUST KIDS! If you don't like them TOO BAD, they aren't your kids so stay out of it! And if your letting your spouse keep you from your kids, get a backbone and do what you know is the right thing to do.  If you are truly a good person you would encourage you husband/wife to keep in touch and stay as close to their kids as possible, no matter how you feel about them. Someone with a pure heart would be able to do that. I don't care how bitter the divorce was. That's between the adults not the kids. They still want and love their mom and dad and they deserve nothing less from them then that. 

Any dad or mom who doesn't see their kids or keep in touch with them after a divorce isn't worth the ground they walk on in my opinion. I don't care if they live a world apart, there is no good excuse to at least keep in touch with them even if you can't visit as often as you like. My nephews dad hasn't seen him in 20 years. My nephew is only 22. He didn't even pay support for years. So because of that my nephew wants nothing at all to do with his dad. He said if he saw him now he'd spit in his face, and I can't say as I'd blame him. He's never gotten anything from him for birthday's or Christmas, not once. And it's a shame really because Trent is a terrific kid and he's turned out great. No thanks to his dad though. He certainly can't take any credit for it. He turned out great because my sister is a great mom and she had all of us to help her. We know the value of family and we stick by each other through thick and thin. We don't run away from resposibilites and we help each other if something comes up that we feel we can't handle on our own. And above all, there isn't one of us who wouldn't take in each others kids if we needed to.

Even my grandson doesn't see his mom a lot and that bugs the crap out of me. She's suppose to pay support as well but she's way behind. I'm sure if it were the other way around she would have had my son arrested in a heartbeat if he wasn't paying. Before she lost custody she use to demand things from my son and she made things so much worse then they had to be. I know she loves him and William loves her so that makes it so hard for me not to be mad at her. I mean a phone call once a week at least isn't asking too much is it? He loves her so much!

It makes me wonder if you the deadbeat who has remarried and your new spouse has kids. Do you treat them better then you do your own? I bet you do. Do you ever sit back and look at your stepchildren and their children and think about your own flesh and blood? Do you? How in the world can you look at them and not miss your own kids? What do you say to yourself that justifies your behaviour? It doesn't matter really, because nothing you can say will make it right.

Oh I've heard the excuses, my ex won't let them come with me etc. etc. BULL! That's what courts are for. Unless you are an abuser there isn't a court in this country that will not let you see your kids. So I don't want to hear any flimsy excuses, they won't work on me. If you truly loved your kids you wouldn't allow anything or anyone come between you and them...ever!

So, if your a deadbeat parent all I have to say to you is it's your loss. Remember, you're the one who made the choice not the kids. You will miss out on so much that will never be able to be repeated. And when your old, fragile and feeble don't go crying to the kids that you need them now. Why should they be there for you then when you were never there for them? You should be ashamed of yourself!!!

At the end of the day and you are looking into God's eyes are you going to be able to say "I did everything I could, I was there for them and loved them with all my heart. That I put them first above all." And if your the spouse are you going to be able to say "I encouraged and helped them stay close, and treated them with respect and dignity that they deserved"

I am so blessed that our marriage has held together for over 41 years now. But I can say this, if we had ever divorced I would bet my life that neither of us would have walked out and neglected our kids. And If I did remarry he would have to understand that it's a package deal. Love me love my kids or hit the road. I would never ever put someone else above my children NEVER. Their happiness and well being is always first and foremost...ALWAYS. no if's and's or but's about it!